You know what they say: “the best part of fighting is making up.” Well what about in long distance relationships? How can you make up properly when you’re mad as hell and many miles apart? This is a difficult question to answer as my boyfriend and I found out during our last fight. While I’ll spare you the “bloody” details, our fight lasted approximately four rounds or another words 4 long phone calls. We would hang up mad at each other, call back to apologize, end up fighting again, but finally made up for good after realizing that we love each other and had no reason to fight. So we thought long and hard about how to make up and feel close again when the two of you are anything but close (at least physically), and here is what we came up with:
Learn to VERBALLY express your feelings. When you’re physically next to your partner than you can get away with the whole “actions speak louder than words” so if “I show my partner that I love them and I’m sorry than I don’t actually have to say the words.” This attitude won’t cut it in a long distance relationship. You have to let go of your pride and tell your partner how you feel or the distance between you will grow. Sure it doesn’t hurt to follow up with a sweet card in the mail or have flowers delivered, but you must also learn how to communicate your feelings.
Remind your partner how much they mean to you. This is where a card in the mail could really help you out. Going out of your way to do something special after an argument lets them know that you’ve put the fight behind you and that you want to feel close again. Be creative and think about the things that matter to your partner.
Lastly, you should be understanding and patient with each other. In a long distance relationship there are more chances of having a misunderstanding and getting upset for no reason. It could be because you write an email and your partner misinterprets the message or because you stay late at work and you can’t call to say goodnight. Respect each others space and time and be patient and understanding. Yet you should also try often to communicate in words and through actions that your partner is special and important.
I recently read an article about a couple who had been married for 85 years! Though my boyfriend and I aren’t married and can in no way compare our experience to this wise couple, I found their advice to be very helpful:
“Agree that it’s okay to disagree, & fight for what really matters. Learn to bend - not break!”
~ Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher; Married 85 years
Posts
I developed an easier trick handling my boyfriend's anger.
ReplyDeleteEasy. Don't answer the phone.
I kept telling him not to call me just to scold or argue with me because I'm just going to drop the phone on him. Which he really hates.
then few minutes later he'd be sending a text message, "I'm cool now, answer the phone, I want us to talk properly" .... coz you know... a person with a hot head can't really think straight. what more if there were two? .. so i wouldn't want to waste my time arguing on the phone anymore because even if i try to explain and defend myself a million times he's mind is too full of anger that nothing would make sense...
maybe you should try it. just dont answer the call.
and you would spare each other from saying words you will later regret (seriously I've said a lot) :)
my point really is, we barely talk to each other and I wouldn't want to fill up those rare moments fighting.
ReplyDeleteOne difficult thing about making up in Lond distance relationship is you can't feel each other's atmospheres.
ReplyDeleteWhether you're making up through skype, phonecall or messengers, sometimes there are third party who wouldn't understand. His friends need him to tip the pizza guy or suddenly my internet connection is breaking down...
The emotions sometimes are hard to understand as well. It's simply just because we don't share the same atmosphere.
But again, is it worth all the pains? ;)
hi, im in a long distance relationship, my problem is we keep on fighting everyweek, because she always leave for a party... and now we end up as friends, she wanted us to be friends for now... i find a hard time understanding... she wants me to make her fall in love agen. i want to... i dont want to lose her... can you give me some advice how to win her back? thanks
ReplyDeleteHey!!!! It's zac. You have no idea how many times I've tried to get in contact with you over the past 2 years! Danielle and I moved to Houston and I've tried to call numerous times but you must have changed phone numbers. If you still have my number call me sometime. I would love to catch up.
ReplyDeleteI've enjoyed reading your posts. My boyfriend is only six hours away and will be back in two months, but I still experience the lonely feelings, especially since we lived together for three months and I got used to seeing him every day.
ReplyDeleteI have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year. It's had its good and bad times. The part that hurts the most that I don't know how to handle is when I try to tell him something that bothers me he gets mad and we start a fight. He then tells me go away leave me alone and hangs up on me and will not answer my calls.
ReplyDeleteAnd how the hell do u handle that? :-/ coz de SAME thing happens to me too :(
DeleteMe and boyfriend we have been 9 months apart and he makes calls at a specific time daily and at tyms that time am busy and cannot answer the phone,in long distance relationship understanding,faithfulness and humility are most important.Am happy I got a man who understands but fightng does not lack
ReplyDeleteI've been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years and we have been apart the 50% of the relationship. We met in England, then I moved to Spain and he followed me, I went to the U.S. and he remained in Spain, then I moved to Ghana and he followed me again. He is in Abu Dhabi and I am in Spain at the moment. Distance on and off.
ReplyDeleteIt is always hard although you learn to develop a different sort of relationship when you are together or geographically apart. There are not special recipes but patience, respect and trust.
SPELL CASTER!!! NATURAL VOODOO SPELL
ReplyDeleteDO YOU NEED YOUR EX BACK VERY FAST
DO YOU WANT YOUR LOVER TO LOVE YOU AS NEVER LIKE BEFORE
ARE YOU FACING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS
ARE YOU SEEKING FOR A GOOD JOB
DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A HOUSE OWNER
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FIRST CLASS GRADE
DO YOU WANT TO COME OUT FIRST IN YOUR EXAMS
ARE YOU A STAR AND YOU WANT TO BE SO POPULAR TO THE WHOLE WORLD
DO YOU WANT TO BE RICH
DO YOU WANT YOUR BUSINESS TO KEEP MOVING
DO YOU HAVE A COMPANY OF ANY KIND AND YOU WANT IT TO EXPAND
DO YOU WANT YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE TO KEEP TO YOUR WORLD
ARE YOU FACING ANY MARITAL PROBLEMS
ARE YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO GET PREGNANT FOR YOUR HUSBAND
ARE YOU EXPERIENCING MISCARRIAGES ANY TIME YOU TAKE IN
DO YOU WANT TO COMPETE IN ANY LOTTERY GAME
ARE YOU FACING HARDSHIP
HAVE YOU BEEN THREATENED BY SOMEONE
DO YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ANY THING YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON
IS YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER BEHAVING STRANGELY
ARE YOU FACING WITCH CRAFT MANIPULATIONS
DO YOU WANT TO CAST A STRONG LOVE SPELL ON YOUR GIRL OR BOY FRIEND
DO YOU HAVE ANY RELATION THAT IS ABNORMAL
DO YOU NEED MAGIC POWERS TO DO ANY THING YOU WANT
ARE YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE A LIFE PARTNER
DO YOU WANT YOUR PARENTS TO BE PROUD OF YOU
ARE YOU ON WHEEL CHAIR FOR YEARS? AND YOU WANT TO WALK AGAIN
DO YOU NEED A PROTECTION SPELL
IS YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE SEEKING FOR A DIVORCE
ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM ANY VIRUS DISEASES
HAS ANY ONE TAKEN YOUR MONEY FROM YOU AND YOU WANT IT BACK VERY FAST
ARE YOU EXPERIENCING FAILURE AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN ANY THING YOU DO.(ECT)
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The deep you dig into the subject and give us the accurate data is appreciable.
ReplyDeleteRelationship Advice by IASug
http://relationshipslongdistance.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteWhat if your Boyfriend is a SEAFARER ? He cannot receive mails cause he is at sea. The only comunication you have is phone calls , messages and skype. If and only if the the satelllite is OK and the SIGNAL is Ok as well. Stand me corrected:)
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous..we are in the same boat :'(
ReplyDeleteGreat article. I enjoyed reading your writing.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently just going through the start of a long distance relationship at the moment. We have always been about 2 hours apart, but he's just gone travelling around the world for 4 and a half months.
ReplyDeletewww.hanpopsheart.blogspot.co.uk
At our age 20-30 sex is a major aspect in a relationship? how do you cope? and also trust tat your partner wont cheat?
ReplyDeleteCyber Sex! :) I know it sounds really out there and trust me I've also had my reservations but once you become comfortable enough taking those barriers down every once in a while it really helps :)
DeleteThis also allows you to open up to your partner in a private way, a way that you won't with anyone else and that brings you closer.
Try it out :) Be brave!
These articles have got complete sense without confusing the readers.
ReplyDeleteCanal astra Digital Website
Really great advice! I think having arguments is one of the worst things about long distance relationships! It's so hard to argue and make up when you're not physically together!
ReplyDeleteI've just started a long distance relationship blog and would love for people to have a look at it!
http://the-miles-between-us.blogspot.co.uk/