Are Long Distance Relationships Worth It?

This is the first post of our blog, and I want to start it off by exploring the most basic question of long distance relationships: Are they worth it? Anyone who’s ever been in or thought about being in a long distance relationship has at some point asked themselves this question.

It's not an easy one to answer. Given that I'm in a long distance relationship, most people would expect me to say that of course they're worth it, but I would have to say that it depends. Long distance love isn’t easy and it requires that both partners are equally committed to the relationship. However, for the right person, I believe that the pain of separation is nothing compared the joy of reuniting.

So are long distance relationships worth it? I’m going to answer this question with a question or actually several questions all of which you and your partner should consider before you decide whether or not long distance love is worth it.

1) Is it love or really intense lust?

This isn't a easy question to answer because, well, you probably wouldn't realize the difference (at least not at first). Love is what happens in between make-out sessions. Love is when you care about the other person and not just what makes them sexy but what makes them real - their good and bad qualities - their quirks. Lust requires phyiscal attention and interaction. Lust fades but love endures, and it can certainly endure a little distance and time apart.

2) Do you trust each other?

Trust is essential when it comes to long distance relationships. You can't be next to the person everyday to see what they are doing so you have to trust that they are staying true to you. Many people asked me when my boyfriend was getting ready to move how I could be sure that he wouldn't cheat on me. The truth is that I didn't know, but I was willing to trust him until I had a reason not to trust him. So I may not know what he's doing every second of the day, but I do know that there have been plenty of times when I've called him in the middle of his night because I miss him like crazy, and he's always been there for me.

3) Do you have an end date in mind?

Knowing that the distance isn't going to last forever makes long distance relationships much easier to handle. If the distance isn't temporary then it is important to discuss how you and your partner will someday come together. Is one of you willing to move by the other person? You don't have to figure this out right away, but as time goes on the distance will get harder if you feel like it will never end.

4) Are you comfortable doing some things alone?

I've never had a problem doing some things by myself, and I certainly don't need my boyfriend there every second. But I also have friends who need their partner around constantly, and this can be a big issue for long distantce relationships. You have to accept that you won't have your partner there, and you can't be tempted to find someone to fill that void until your partner gets back. You have to be strong enough to live your life committed to them yet apart.

5) Does your partner believe in long distance relationships?

When it comes down to it - it doesn't matter what this blog or your friends or even family have to say about long distance relationships - it only matters what you and your partner think. Do you both believe that your relationship is worth it? Are you both willing to make the sacrifice of being apart in order to be together in the future? For my boyfriend and I, the answer to these questions was yes and 2 years later we are still together and closer than ever!

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.” ~ Unknown Author